Grateful I moved back into my moms house via /r/gratitude

It hasn’t even been two hours and I made my bed in my old room where I grew up. I’m imagining where i’ll hang my decorations and what i’ll change or what i’ll keep. I’ve moved out of the town where I felt stuck and heavy, and returned to my mom’s house, I feel a deep sense of relaxation and peace that I haven’t felt in years. This peace isn’t random — it’s my body finally letting go of years spent in survival mode. The environment I was living in weighed me down emotionally and mentally more than I realized at the time. I say it a lot but that town carries a lot of emotional weight, some of my darkest moments were spent there all while I was going through college and becoming an adult.

Over the years, my anxiety grew quietly in the background, until it became part of my everyday life. Part of it ill admit ruined my relationship with a person that I love dearly. I carried it for so long that I forgot what it felt like to be truly calm. Now, for the first time in a long time, I can sit still without feeling restless or on edge. I can actually breathe.

I put off moving for weeks because I was scared — scared of the change, scared of leaving what I knew, even if it wasn’t good for me. Eventually, I pushed through the fear and took the leap. Now that I’m on the other side, I can see it clearly: this was what I needed all along.

My grandma is nearing her end, she helped to raise me. She lives here and I’m grateful I will get to sit with her everyday. I get to help my mom (even though I know i’ll hate it) with small tasks. I get quiet and stillness, something that I was overdo for.