Grateful I’ve put on weight via /r/gratitude

This is something I never thought I’d be grateful for. Never in a million years. I’ve always been overweight or obese, my whole life. When I got sober and started taking care of myself I lost a lot of weight, hit my target weight and was so proud of myself. I’m 45 years old so when my cycle stopped coming every month I just assumed it was because of menopause or perimenopause and didn’t think much of it. It’s been over a year without it, I haven’t had any of the regular symptoms that women complain about when it comes to menopause but I eat healthy and exercise daily so I thought that could be why. Then a few months ago I fell off track because of a hip flare up I stopped doing my cardio workout and focused more on strengthening my body with slow, deliberate workouts making sure I was in proper alignment. This lack of cardio lead to my brain thinking that everyday was my “feed day” because that is what I’d done over the past two years, I’d take a day off of working out and eat all the fruit and veggies I wanted for the day. Instead of restricting myself over this time I decided to eat, and I also added in peanut butter because I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER. Well I put on 30 pounds in that month of living my soft life and have really been beating myself up about it. Not wanting to look in the mirror. Not wanting to put on clothes because they don’t fit the same anymore, etc. But yesterday I woke up and my cycle came back! I did some research and turns out losing too much weight too fast can cause your period to stop. Which makes sense because my body didn’t feel like it was safe enough to create another life. I never thought I’d be excited to start my cycle but I was so excited. It meant that I’m ok. My body is online again and it’s a sign that my body feels safe now. I’m curious to see what’s happens over the next few months. I’m back on track with my eating and cardio workouts daily but I definitely won’t be restricting myself as much as before. It’s weird to be grateful of something I’ve been so ashamed of for so long. Life is funny, huh?