I Survived—and Now I Know the Joy of Giving via /r/gratitude

“For Thomas Aquinas, gratitude has 3 levels: recognition for the benefit received, praise for the one who made it possible and the willingness to reciprocate.
I would like to address a second level of thanks to you, because not only am I happy with the result obtained but I also recognize that it was possible thanks to you and your team and therefore I am grateful to you.”

These are the first words of a letter I wrote to the head of the ICU where I was hospitalized for two months following an attempt.

Almost a year has passed and I think I have found a fourth level of gratitude: I don't know how to define it, I would say "dispassionate gratitude".
I am grateful to these people and the idea of ​​their commitment makes me immensely happy, and I don't feel any need to have a response from them, a "thank you", "I remember you", no. Then, if (as in one case it happened) the response arrives I am happy, but I am also happy "only" to "give for the sake of giving".

these doctors not only saved my life, but they also taught me the most important lesson of all: the joy of just giving, without needing anything in return.
a doctor who works in ICU works to save people's lives and very often doesn't even receive a thank you in return, because the patients either die or continue on their way leaving that episode behind them: often they don't remember.
all the effort they make is done knowing that they will probably never receive anything in return, and for this I admire them so much.

the bond that ties me to these doctors is so deep, precious and impossible to explain to others: only I know it.
I can't even put into words how fundamental they were: it all started (again) from there.

inside me I would like them to be proud of me, of my commitment, of my results, and so I'm applying myself so that it can be so.

so I want to say thank you. a fourth level thank you.