The beginning of the end (finally) via /r/gratitude

I’m feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude toward my body today.

Almost 3 weeks ago I tested positive for COVID. What followed was a prescription for corticosteroids and, with that, a full-blown rollercoaster of side effects I didn’t even know existed. Night sweats that would soak my sheets. Burned mouth syndrome (why is that even a thing?). Puffy face, mood swings, food cravings, insomnia, this weird wired energy inside me, my period got delayed. It honestly felt like a nightmare, especially because I was already running on low fuel before all this started.

Last night I tried magnesium for the first time to help me sleep. And for the first time in what feels like forever, I actually rested. I woke up feeling refreshed, and this morning, my period came. It finally feels like the beginning of the end. Like my body is saying “we’re almost out of the woods.”

I still don’t feel fully like myself, physically or emotionally. But I’m filled with so much hope and so much tenderness. My body has been through so much and it still shows up for me, holds me up, listens to the medicine, adapts, keeps me going even when I had nothing left in the tank.

It doesn’t feel like my body yet, not fully, but I’m embracing it. Softly. Patiently. With love.