Grateful he quit watching p0rn via /r/gratitude

When I first met my husband I didn’t even know that p0rn addiction could be a thing. I found out the hard way. I stumbled across his hidden treasure trove of videos, cam girl interactions, chat room conversations, picture swap communities…. All of it. I felt like I was hit by a bus. I started to go down the path of trying to become what he would “click on” but quickly realized that, just the same as any other addiction, you build up a tolerance. And I would have to continuously change into something more exciting in order to keep up with his needs. That’s not possible. Then I felt the sting of realizing that I’d never be good enough if he was to continue down this road. Anytime I brought it up he’d deny, deny, deny. He had disassociated with that dark part of himself so much that I don’t even think he believed he had a problem. Classic addiction behavior. I’m grateful that I saw the signs and knew not to try and police him into quitting. I decided to just work on myself. It was so rough for so long and Ive never told anyone about it. I kind of went into a disassociation with it, too. Over time I noticed subtle changes in his habits. He wasn’t using his phone near as much as usual. He hasn’t even been on the computer since we moved out of town. He’s a different man now than the one I met 5 years ago. He’s more empathetic, he doesn’t get that glazed over look in his eyes when I talk to him, he gets excited for things now. It’s weird that I have to be silently proud of him for quitting it. But I know he’s done. I’m so so grateful to be able to feel like I’m good enough for him.