I’m grateful for my cousin. I don’t think I’ll be able to thank her enough. via /r/gratitude

Just for a bit of background, my cousin and I both suffered abuse in our childhood and while I spun out of control, playing truant, smoking, hanging out with friends and drinking, she dealt with her trauma by expressing herself in writing and art, and focusing on her studies. She finished high school as valedictorian and as magna cum laude in college, then landed herself a nice high-paying job at just 20. She's three years older than me and we're more sisters than cousins. We like each other more than our actual siblings.

Meanwhile, I'm pregnant at 19, scared out of my mind because my boyfriend lived on the other side of the country (forced by his parents), and his parents even doubted the paternity and that hurt like hell because although I've been playing around a lot (not sexually), he's my first boyfriend. But what can I do, right?

To start, I was staying with her for vacation when I started complaining about my boobs hurting. She asked to touch them and then immediately asked when the last time was that I got my period. She bought the pregnancy test. When I realized I was pregnant, she was the first person to know. My parents kicked me out and she let me stay with her. My boyfriend's parents were paying for them but she was there for me in every doctor's appointment. She was there when my baby was born. She held her first. She handled my baby's birth certificate because I was mostly out of it. I was lowkey impressed that she didn't need to ask me anything. From the baby's name to every information about me, she just knew.

My baby was born on November. She hasn't taken a day off for the entire year because their leaves are convertible to cash and she has 30 days of leaves still. That would have equated to a month and a half pay but she filed all of them as PTO to take care of me and my baby. She worked from home and took care of my baby as much as she can, mostly at night, and I remember that I still got my full 8 hours of sleep because she kept her in her room so as not to wake me. My baby was born through a caesarean section so she also helped with my stitches, cleaning me, even changing my pads. I didn't have a job at the time so I was embarrassed because I was not contributing anything to the household and I couldn't even do much right after the surgery but she never said anything. And that's not even the end of it.

After my boyfriend came back, I moved in with him. He still lived with his parents and still in college because he kept failing or dropping subjects. Just not taking it seriously. Three years later, I was pregnant again. I know, I know, it wasn't a wise decision. But she offered the same support. When my second baby was 3 and no longer as dependent on me, my cousin sent me to college. I said no at first because I've always done bad in school. I thought it'd be a waste of time and money. But she had always encouraged me. Insisted on it. Told me I'm not stupid, I just didn't give myself a chance to actually pay attention because I was too busy hanging out with friends. So reluctantly, I said okay. She has my baby when I have to be in school. She's handling all that while also working a full time job and still earning on the side with commissions from her arts. She was right. I focused in school, for her, for my baby, for me, because my boyfriend was still not being serious on his schooling and I don't want to rely on his parents and my cousin all my life. I was a dean's lister since the first semester. I'm graduating next year with a huge chance of snagging a latin honor.

My cousin is moving away in a couple of months. The company she works for wants her to handle this huge project and it'd require her to relocate to a different country so yeah, after all these, she's still kicking ass in her career. My kids call her Mama. She allows it and I think it's cute and fitting. She's as much of a mother to them as I am. She hasn't even gone yet and I'm already missing her. She's the only reason why I'm here right now. I don't know where I would have landed if she didn't step up, if she didn't believe I deserve a second chance. I told her that once I started working, I'd pay her back but she refuses. She told me to set up an account for the kids instead. This woman is my superhero, she's my angel. I'm so lucky that she's in my life. I don't know what I can do to show my gratitude for all that she's done for me and my kids.