I’m grateful I chose to do healthy things via /r/gratitude

I got lucky when I met my husband. He takes care of everything. I haven’t had to work to pay the bills and our kids are all grown up with their own families. It took me about 4 years to finally realize that having all of this free time on my hands was allowing me to go down a really dark path. I had so many coping mechanisms- drugs – everything I could get my hands on. Anything to escape the hell that was my own mind. Alcohol- from the moment I woke up till I went to bed. Sweets – I’d literally eat 4 or 5 (or more) of those starburst jelly beans everyday. Pizza for dinner. Never drank water. No veggies. I didn’t care because I didn’t really want to live for long. Thinking back on it I can’t believe it was me. I’m so grateful that I finally woke up and decided to use all of this free time to choose good habits. To clean myself up. To get my mind right. Now I find joy in doing the hard things. I understand why I was the way that I was and learning about how the brain works has helped me kick those habits that were bound to kill me. It’s crazy that it took me getting the opportunity to do whatever I wanted to finally decide to do what’s good for me.