Grateful my mom speaks to me now – trigger warning via /r/gratitude

My sister too. We were raised in the Jehovah’s Witness cult and I left 5 years ago when I got divorced. My family went hard no contact when I left as instructed by the cult. I could have used the support, it was the hardest lowest point of my life. I almost unalived myself in the summer of 2023 and my family ignored my texts and calls for help, my brother and sister even blocked me, as they were instructed. When I reached out to my brother, he said “I’m glad you’re suffering, idiot.” And “You’re too busy wallowing in your victimhood to know how arrogant you are.” And “You’re getting what you asked for.” When I said I missed my family he would respond “lol”. They thought I was apostate and crazy because I sent them text messages that says the Bible doesn’t advocate families not speak to each other. I couldn’t take the loss anymore so I pretended to believe in the bullcrap, allowed the elders to question me in depth about my sex life and my attitude and personal habits and got readmitted. It took 9 months total, several rounds with the elders. They asked in depth questions about my divorce because they wanted to make sure I felt bad about it enough that God can forgive me. We were in a sexless marriage, she hit me in my sleep, hit me when I was awake, screamed at me because I didn’t make coffee, or left my socks on the bathroom floor. We didn’t have a good year in 17 years. I was a good husband but I couldn’t take it any more. She has since been to therapy, gotten on lexapro and we spent many hours talking and forgiving each other. I’ll always love her but I’m so glad it’s done now. The elders wanted me to say it was my fault because I wasn’t a good spiritual lead and that I sinned by leaving and getting a girlfriend. My girlfriend is a human sunflower who can’t stop smiling and laughing and loves sex but I had to tell them how sorry I was and how it was my fault and how I regret it. So I did. They asked several times when I had sex last, if I looked at porn, and who my friends were and if I was talking to any other EXJWs or been to any websites that say negative things about JWs. And it worked. So now my mom talks to me. She suspects I don’t really believe it and it makes her nervous. But it’s way better than no contact. I love my mom and my sister like I love my soul. This isn’t ideal. It’s worse for a lot of other people. But I’m grateful I have them back.