Grateful to myself. via /r/gratitude

I have been through so much, so much pain, trauma, things that have knocked me off of my kilter time and time again. Not once have I thought about ending it all. I get up everytime battered as hell, but ready to do the work so that I don’t turn into those that hurt me. So that I don’t hurt anyone due to my lack of awareness. I’ll do the ugly work, I’ll take care of my body, I’ll fight for that diagnosis, I’ll change my diet, I’ll focus on my skincare. I am so willing to take care of myself but for a long time I have not seen it as self love, just as something I need to do and it made it feel like a chore. Now I enjoy these things, and I give immense gratitude to the way I have shown up for myself. Someone in my corner recently pointed out how admirable they think I am because of how willing I am, and I have not even given myself that credit. Not in a very long time and actually meant it. I let my past and what was done to me foolishly define me, internally at least. Everytime pain or trauma is inflicted it reinforced that toxic little voice that, this is what I deserved. But on the outside you’d never guess the things and insecurities I carry because I work hard not to project them and I work on them daily, little by little while understanding I’m still retraining my brain. I’m still on training wheels, sometimes I fall off of the bike. My beliefs are not set in stone yet. I have not sat to say to myself “THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU” and I am hoping to get into that habit starting now.

Thank god, the universe, spirit, whichever creator you believe in. But don’t forget to thank yourself too, you are the one physically showing up for you every single day.